Does a break from the old necessarily mean starting something new?

I realize I spend a lot of time chasing memories. Things that were once beautiful, things that could/should/might have been, things that just didn't happen. Why? I don't know; perhaps I just have difficulty letting go of holding on. Aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? Why am I not learning from mine?

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I can't believe it's already March. March, of my senior year of high school. People always tell you to make the most of your senior year, because it's the last time you'll be in such a setting--and what a setting! Where else are you going to be confined in a building (or in my case, two), surrounded by the same people for countless hours every day? Yet what have I done with my year, my one last chance to try something new, to make something count?

One word: AcaDec.

It's the best decision I've ever made, and totally worth the time commitment.. but every once in a while I sit here and I'm shocked that I can't remember anything from this year except these seven people and the enumerable memories we've shared. Not that it's a bad thing... but sometimes, I think perhaps it matters too much.

Then again, everyone should have a few things that they care about so much that it'll hurt if they're taken away. For me, AcaDec is one of those things. Yet, in two short months, it will be over. Sure, I'll write for DemiDec over the summer, and I've probably shared too many memories with Sophy/Ross/Andrew/Jackie/Danielle/Sijia/Sam/Crossno/Layne to have them simply disappear from my life... yet AcaDec, as I know it, will end in a few short months. What then?

In a way, I regret not expanding my horizons this year. Senior year, spring semester was when I was supposed to do everything I didn't have time for through the course of high school. I was supposed to try out for the musical (or at least a student-directed one-act). try my hand at composing, pick up a new hobby, learn something useful... now I don't even have time for school. It makes me feel a bit guilty, it does. I don't know what's going on in the rest of the world, or even with the presidential election.

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I don't want to grow up. I don't want to know these things about people and the world. I like my naivety. Come back, innocence!

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(Will any of this still make sense after a few months?)