Bright Lights and Revelations

New York was awesome. Central Park, the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art (despite all the exhibits I really wanted to see being closed), karaoke, Wicked, Times Square... just being in such a bustling city re-energized me. I'm glad I went, and I'm happy about the company that was there, and I'm relieved to be back in Hanover now.

However, over the weekend SB was in one of his "moods" again, which put a bit of a damper on the festivities. He said later that he couldn't really control his moods, and that it wasn't as if he chose to be unhappy.

I disagree.

While I admit that sometimes things don't go precisely how I want them to, and that oftentimes that upsets me, I do think we can choose to not be unhappy. Note that I'm not claiming you can cue happiness just by thinking it, but you can actively pursue it. I've always believed you can be proactive about your own happiness, and that there are things you can do to cheer yourself, and others, up... especially if you're in a glorious city with wonderful friends and a fun weekend planed... but again, that's just me.

Perhaps I'm also being a wee hypocritical. I broke up with AH recently, and it put me in a bit of a funk. Per usual, I whined to KS about how all these awful things happen to me and why I get myself into these truly terrible situations, but later someone said something that really put a stop to my wallowing in self-pity.

"You're not the kind of person things just happen to, Edie. You initiate these things, and you plan an active role, so start taking responsibility for the consequences."

So here's to taking responsibility for my behavior, in aspects of my life, not just those related to school and work. I've always been very thorough and careful about those responsibilities, and I suppose it's time I grow up and start handling business in regards to the rest of my existence. Really, I owe it to myself and those around me to stop being so damn careless.

But to recap, I had a fantastic, if emotionally-ridden, weekend, and I'm ready for my best friends to move back onto campus and for classes to start and my life to resume--scratch that, to continue chasing after my future.